February 4, 2026 “Letting Emotions Guide Us with Kindness!”

How do we normalize emotional reactions? We start by remembering that emotions are normal. Everyone has them. Emotions can be wise teachers, but they are poor leaders. They are meant to advise us, not control us.

Anger can be protective. Justified anger is acceptable when someone we care about lies to us or hurts us. Anger can help us set boundaries and defend ourselves when we are wronged.

Fear can also be a wise emotion. If we see a bear in the woods, fear quickly tells us to run. Fear keeps us safe. In everyday life, when emotions start to take over during a conversation, we can pause. We can listen more and speak more slowly instead of reacting right away.

The other day, I was backing out of my driveway and did not notice a car parked behind another vehicle. My depth perception was off, and I lightly hit the passenger-side bumper and panel.

This small accident triggered a trauma response in me. I felt anger, guilt, and shame. I used my Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills and talked through the event with my wife and my peer support group. I noticed an old message from my childhood rose up: “You are stupid and bad.”

Over the next 24 hours, I gently challenged those harsh thoughts. I reminded myself to have compassion and to normalize my feelings. Because of healing, the strength and length of my emotional triggers are much less than they once were.

One final thought about trauma and emotions: emotions should not lead a conversation, but they can be part of it. For example, we might say, “I want to share how I felt.” Emotions are meant to guide us with wisdom, not direct our lives.

Remember, Recovery is here right now, in this very moment