When I began Recovery I had patches over my eyes. Depressed Anonymous allows me to admit the truth and accept responsibility – the opposite is denial and blame. I admit I was afraid because I was exposed, but I was still in denial. I avoided the real reasons I was sad and anxious, and the impact trauma had on my mental health. I was still in denial.
Then I shifted from denial to blame. I blamed God and my parents for the way my life was turning out. I was angry at them for allowing me to be abused by my dad and doing absolutely nothing to protect me. The temptation allowed me to turn to denial and blame during the early stages of Recovery.
Slowly as I continued to participate in therapy and support groups I disclosed myself to people (God) because I was allowing myself to trust them. I am opening my heart to allow others the chance to love me. What is the remedy for suffering, sadness, anxiety, and trauma?
This remedy is not meant to be pollyanna but I have had to be taught how to love. Bring light to my intellect, and develop a strong will, and treat people with dignity. This is achieved through self-giving love because love demands taking care of ourselves through self-compassion, kindness, caring, taking responsibility for our behavior, and being truthful. There are moments in our lives when we are called to self-sacrificing love. An example is caring for an elderly parent.
Because I was off track when I entered Recovery I did not choose goodness and I have been made to love and did not choose to love so what I had to do was painful. I brought these shortcomings to the therapist, support groups, and confessional at church. Today these areas are where I embrace the responsibility of love and fight against the temptation in my heart and soul to deny or blame people.
How do you sometimes fall into denial and blame others?
How do you practice self-giving love to yourself and others?
Peace
Larry
email: ljw@superhumanbeing.net
website: https://superhumanbeing.net/
