March 28, 2024 Family Of Origin

It has been a while since offering a reflection on our Family of Origin. To heal we need to go to our roots and find out how we have become the people we are. “We are our parents.” as the saying goes. As children, we internalized our parent’s personality. Even now grandparents, stepparents, or guardians are all part of our personality – for good or ill.

For us to crawl out of our sadness, anxiety, shame, and a host of other feelings we need to discern how we might have captured certain messages about ourselves from the adults who hemmed us in as a helpless infant and children. We internalized messages as children – some helpful and others not helpful. Some messages may have made us feel worthless because we could never please the adults in our lives.

Often I have heard from doctors about the genetic link with certain illnesses. I have people on my mother and father’s side who lost their lives due to colon cancer. I have been diligent about doing colonoscopies as directed by my doctor. The first one found polopies which were removed. Since that time I had two subsequent procedures that proved to be clear.

Due to my childhood experiences and my mom’s journey with bipolar my adulthood has been difficult. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Ten years ago a psychologist believed I suffered from severe trauma as a result of abuse during my childhood. I now realize the importance of facing my past, letting go of what is no longer necessary to hang onto, and accepting my mental health challenges. I still have feelings of worthlessness come up, sadness, anxiety, and trauma. Due to the support I have sought to help me, these feelings are less intense and shorter in duration when they surface. I remain hopeful whatever tomorrow brings I have the tools to live a full life.

Brene Brown, a Professor at the University of Houston says, “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”





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