During this time of year, many of us worry, ruminate, or obsess about the goals we want to set for 2024.
Recurring memories from the past can also hook us. We either obey (give them all our attention missing out on the here and now) or struggle (using all the usual methods, with usual consequences).
These two features of our human condition can be helped by noticing and naming them, dropping anchor (becoming rooted in the present moment), and making room for the feelings that go with them. practicing self-compassion, and repeatedly focusing/refocusing on what we are doing. There is no delete button in our brains, no way to rid ourselves of bad memories.
I was under the care of a therapist for over twenty years. Despite my efforts, I could not reduce worry, ruminating, obsessing, sadness, anxiety, and memories from my past occurring. About six years ago a psychologist asked me, “Has anyone told you that you are suffering from the impact of childhood trauma”?
The psychologist suggested I locate a therapist with experience in healing the impact of trauma. The treatment method was called, “Eye Movement Desisitation and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR). The objective of EMDR is to help me heal from trauma. I was able to locate a therapist who guided me through several sessions over the course of months. I tell people I prefer to have a root canal rather than experience the short-term pain of EMDR, but over time, as I treated myself with compassion and allowed my memories to be present with a struggle, I noticed two things: The pain came up less and the intensity of feelings steadily lost their impact on my health and well-being
Worrying, ruminating, obsessing and recurring memories can be brought safely to our conscience level. We do not need to obey nor struggle when we are in these states of mind and emotions.
Finding ways to heal can vary from person to person. My healing is found with a team of people that consists of the following: therapist, psychiatrist, support groups, peers in recovery, reading, writing, and support from family. I facilitate a virtual support group on Thursday evenings from 6-7:00 p.m. I encourage you to join us if you have not already done so. https://superhumanbeing.net/thursday-zoom-event/ (click>zoom)
With the start of the New Year let’s remember to show ourselves kindness and self-compassion.
Peace
Larry
email: ljw@superhumanbeing.net
website: https://superhumanbeing.net/