Today I want to reflect on Recovery Step 8 “We acknowledge our behaviors have impacted our relationships”…Step 9 “We seek mutual reconciliation for a harmful action we committed”… Step 11 “We come to recognize our shortcomings during Recovery”…
An author wrote several books about mental health, addiction, and spirituality. Now the author was at a bookstore when a person came up to him with a costly piece of paper and the person placed it gently in his hand. Though the person’s intention was sincere people who were present whispered to each other how immoral this person was maybe a thief, an addict, or at least unavailable to their family.
So this person had shortcomings and entered the bookstore and wept over the author as he read the document. Customers were shocked and embarrassed but the author remained perfectly at ease. He knows what this person is doing and why they are doing it. He is not worried about what other people think. The author focuses on the woman without concern about the murmuring of the other customers.
The author knows the person is expressing sincere sorrow and great affection. The author says to the person, “Thank you for sharing your testimony with me. I do not stand in judgment of you but offer love, compassion, and kindness”. This person loved what the author stood for. The author knows love and immoral acts are incompatible. This person loves the author at that moment and could not be immoral.
We sometimes are unable to see what the author saw. Our concept of immorality or poor behavior is legalistic. For the author the person’s shortcomings are relational. This person’s immorality became irrelevant to the author. In our homes, places of worship, and community people with poor behavior can be stuck with labels for the rest of their lives despite the changes they make.
The author does not work that way. He deals with persons as they are in the here and now. What we did yesterday does not matter. All that matters is what we are doing now. How are we relating to others in the present moment?
Judgment destroys forgiveness and healing. The author’s desire is for us to be made whole through forgiveness to experience life and peace.
12 Steps to Health
Hope ≈ Healing ≈ Health
- We dedicate ourselves to a lifestyle of Recovery; our lives have purpose and meaning.
- We believe a Power greater than ourselves is the path to hope, healing, and health.
- We choose to contemplate daily, how faith in our Higher Power and Recovery Community can bring us peace.
- We choose to educate ourselves and find the courage to strive for the highest level of health and well-being.
- We communicate our Plan of Recovery with our Higher Power, with ourselves, and with another human being.
- We allow our Higher Power to be the lighthouse in our lives.
- We humbly ask our Higher Power to reveal his unconditional love and ongoing presence within us.
- We acknowledge our behaviors have impacted our relationships. We list those affected by our behavior and whenever possible become willing to reconcile or thank them for their support during a relapse or mental health crisis.
- We seek mutual reconciliation for a harmful action we committed and seek forgiveness from those we harmed or were impacted by our behavior. Then, let go of our shame because it no longer serves a purpose in our lives, we understand we were designed because we are loved and to be in relationships with other people.
- We continually review our Plan of Recovery with our Higher Power, support team, and those we trust.
- We come to recognize our shortcomings during recovery, while discovering our Higher Power is the source of our strength and mercy, we learn to rely on our Higher Power for the courage to heal through prayer, reflection, mindfulness, and when necessary seek professional support.
- We gain insight into our recovery through our Higher Power as we model these steps, and share our journey toward hope, healing, and health with people.
Adapted From 12 Steps of Alcoholic/Depressed Anonymous by Larry Winter and Collene Spaeth
Revised: 6/5/20
SuperHuman Being
Peace
Larry
email: ljw@superhumanbeing.net
website: https://superhumanbeing.net/