What happens if our families, peers, and co-workers do not believe we have changed and healed from conditions such as mental health, addiction, and trauma? It can be difficult for us to shed our reputation. This is a reason it is hard to change.
Some people want to pigeonhole us with the wrongs we’ve done. It’s difficult to be free of past behaviors because people lock us into our choices without an escape valve. Some of us may have done awful things. Those who can shed their past behaviors and emotional connection to things seem to have no trouble putting the past behind them.
It is difficult to extinguish our past behavior. The past sometimes keeps family members and friends separated from one another. There are two reasons for this:
- An inability to forgive ourselves, be compassionate, or seek mercy for hurtful behaviors.
- An inability to place healthy boundaries down physically, emotionally, and mentally. Finding new relationships with people who support our new behaviors can be difficult. It is tough to prevent people from influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
I was a director of a mid-sized county Human Service Department. During my ten years of employment, I grew a lot. In the final two years, my mental health symptoms began to increase. In the beginning, I felt supported by my boss and the Human Resources Department. I decided to take a leave of absence to focus on my health. Upon returning people began to look and act differently toward me. My boss began to manage much of my work. During a board meeting, my boss was in attendance. He sent a text message telling me how I needed to respond to board members. I found our relationship exhausting despite my efforts to set boundaries.
We are imperfect human beings. This includes everyone even those who do not have a mental health condition, addiction, or history of trauma. We try to make a new start despite people wanting to derail us. Don’t let this stop us from becoming the best versions of ourselves.
What are things in our lives we’d like to put behind us?
What are things in other people’s lives they would like us to let go of?
Peace
Larry
email: ljw@superhumanbeing.net
website: https://superhumanbeing.net