I think healing and Recovery are similar to creating a new heaven and earth within my soul. My past will no longer hold me back from becoming the best version of myself.
I experienced darkness and suffering for several years. These two traits dominated my mood. Today I experience some joy and happiness which was elusive for me before entering Recovery. A few weeks ago our oldest daughter revealed to my wife and me that she is pregnant. I was overjoyed for my daughter and son-in-law. This turn of events is bringing me great joy. Several years ago I may not have felt this way because I was so full of suffering and darkness. Recognizing my growth gives me the motivation to continue my healing.
The 12 steps allow me to embrace the light and clear my mind to be present in the here and now. I am thankful for the mental and emotional healing I now experience. I do not want to come off as Pollyanna pretending that all is sweetness and light. 90% of my life was darkness and sadness. Today, I have a balance of 50/50%. Suffering and pain are part of our human condition. I now have more joy and happiness because of my effort to heal and Recover.
An update on my Health. I was discharged from the hospital on January 27. I continue to recover at home with oral antibiotics. Since my return home, I have had 2 CT scans. There continues to be a shadow in my right lung and evidence of sepsis. My airway out of my right lung has an obstruction with is causing me to see a pulmonary physician. For now, I will continue to take oral antibiotics which will end in a week. Then we will wait another 2 weeks and do another CT scan. I feel better than I did when this began.
Peace
Larry
email: ljw@superhumanbeing.net
website: https://superhumanbeing.net/