When I was able to forgive my father for the physical harm he administered to me the heart and soul felt lighter. Letting go of the anger, sadness, and ambivalence toward Dad took place over 25 years. How did I learn to forgive? I used the 12 steps (see below) to find love, be patient with myself, allow my feelings to move the earth, shake the rafters to melt my heart, and show compassion toward my father.
This is what Recovery was calling me to do despite being in a world divided and separated from each other. A pivotal moment in my relationship with my dad was when he and I read the manuscript for my book together. https://superhumanbeing.net/ When I did this with Dad some of the anger, sadness, and ambivalence remains. On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being unable to forgive I am now at a 3. Will the feelings completely go away? Maybe or maybe not.
I do know to continue engaging with the Recovering community because there is a lot of “Love” in us all. By practicing the 12 steps, making connections with other people, and being the best son I can for my father little miracles will continue to happen for my life.
Who is someone you harbor anger, sadness, ambivalence, and a host of other unresolved feelings toward?
What steps could you take to reduce the intensity of these feelings?
12 Steps to Health
Hope ≈ Healing ≈ Health
- We dedicate ourselves to a Recovery lifestyle; our lives have purpose and meaning.
- We believe a Power greater than ourselves is the path to hope, healing, and health.
- We contemplate daily, how faith in our Higher Power and Recovery Community can bring us peace.
- We educate ourselves and find the courage to strive for the highest level of health and well-being.
- We communicate our Plan of Recovery with our Higher Power, with ourselves, and with another human being.
- We allow our Higher Power to be the lighthouse in our lives.
- We humbly ask our Higher Power to reveal his unconditional love and ongoing presence within us.
- We acknowledge our behaviors have impacted our relationships. We list those affected by our behavior and whenever possible become willing to reconcile or thank them for their support during a relapse or mental health crisis.
- We seek mutual reconciliation for a harmful action we committed and seek forgiveness from those we harmed or were impacted by our behavior. Then, let go of our shame because it no longer serves a purpose in our lives, we understand we were designed because we are loved and to be in relationships with other people.
- We continually review our Plan of Recovery with our Higher Power, support team, and those we trust.
- We come to recognize our shortcomings during recovery, while discovering our Higher Power is the source of our strength and mercy, we learn to rely on our Higher Power for the courage to heal through prayer, reflection, mindfulness, and when necessary seek professional support.
- We gain insight into our recovery through our Higher Power as we model these steps, and share our journey toward hope, healing, and health with people.
Adapted From 12 Steps of Alcoholic/Depressed Anonymous by Larry Winter and Collene Spaeth
Revised: 6/5/20
Peace
Larry
email: ljw@superhumanbeing.net
website: https://superhumanbeing.net/