What happens when we make a big mistake in our lives? I believe there are two parts of us that we have to grapple with. The first are the comments of our culture and families. The second is the emotional turmoil inside our bodies.
Let’s start with the first one. I confess I like to watch sports on television and listen to sports on the radio. A basketball player misses a last-second shot to win the game. The responses by commentators and Twitter participants are nasty. “What a terrible shot”, “I can’t believe they let him/her take that shot”, and “This person cost us a place in the playoffs.” In certain situations, families begin to Tweet and stop talking to the player. Whether a sporting event or local or national news commentators shame and attempt to find guilt with the people they cover. When we watch television or listen to the radio, notice the commentators’ tone.
After making a big mistake, the second consideration is the impact on our emotional and mental health. I recently made a significant mistake. Fortunately my wife and family demonstrated compassion and kindness toward me. They realized how painful making the mistake was for me. I experienced a tremendous amount of shame and guilt. I told myself, “You should have known better”, “You are an educated man and should have reached out for help”, and “I can’t believe this is happening to my family.” I felt pain, shame, anger, and guilt.
I am working hard to remind myself, “I am loved”, “I am a good person”, “I can show self-compassion”, and “Be kind to myself.” The feelings I have from my mistake are normal. I don’t need to slide into darkness or remain overly anxious. I certainly want to dispense feelings of shame, be in the present, and move forward. I wonder if my thoughts and emotions are similar to the basketball player missing the last shot of a game.
How about you? What happens when you make a mistake?
What have you heard on television or radio from a commentator when a person makes a mistake?
Peace
Larry
email: lpw@superhumanbeing.net
website: https://superhumanbeing.net/