What is the difference between a goal and a value? Before we answer this question I would like to take three to five minutes to come up with an answer.
Values are my heart’s deepest desires for how I want to behave, guide the words I use and how I say them, and the actions I take and know and how I do them.
There are five benefits of knowing and using my values:
- I make wiser choices
- An inner compass that guides me.
- They provide motivation.
- When life is dark and gray, they add color.
- When I act on them, they give me a sense of fulfillment – Being true to myself and behaving like the person I want to be.
A goal describes what I want to have, get, achieve, or complete. So if I want to get a new job, become an author, and have friends who support my Recovery. Values are how I want to treat myself. I have taken time to think about my values for 2024. I settled on self-compassion, self-kindness, and self-love. Despite not reaching a goal I still use my values to guide my life.
Any activity I do will be more fulfilling if it is motivated by my values. When I do things motivated by my values despite not achieving a goal I can continue pursuing a goal using my values.
It’s exhausting when I have gone through life; continually running goal after goal after goal. I tell myself when, “If I get this job I will be happy, buy a car, purchase a new wardrobe….” I suffered from long periods of dissatisfaction and frustration as I pursued a goal, punctuated by brief moments of happiness if I achieved the goal.
The value-focused life is more fulfilling than the goal-focused life because I to to appreciate each step of the journey.
Several years ago my wife and I attended Sunday mass. It was during the middle of January and parking spots were difficult to find. I parked my vehicle within the designating markings. However, when I came out of mass there was a parking ticket attached to my windshield. Immediately the dialogue began, “You dummy”, “I can’t believe I could not see the markings”, and “You are such a loser.”
In the event something were to occur today like a parking ticket I want to engage the following values, “Self-compassion – I made a mistake and will learn from my decision”, and “Self-kindness – refrain from being over-critical of myself.” “Show love to myself rather than be judgmental about my actions.
Now that we have arrived at this moment together can you answer this question. What is the difference between a value and a goal? Something for us to think about when we write our Recovery action plan.
Peace
Larry
email: ljw@superhumanbeing.net
website: https://superhumanbeing.net
The Inspiration for this article comes from the book, “Happiness Trapp” by Russ Harris