To increase happiness we do activities to eliminate unwanted thoughts and feelings. In reality, the more energy we put into our struggles, the greater the intensity of our thoughts and feelings. What thoughts and feelings do you want to get rid of?
During my Recovery, I would go to battle with my thoughts and feelings. I did two things to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and feelings. First, I would get into a mental battle by attempting to intentionally think positive thoughts or punch pillows to get my anger out. Second, I would do distracting activities such as; basketball, withdraw from others, food, exercise, academic achievement, and people pleasing.
Take a basketball or another ball the same size. Pretend it is all of your difficult thoughts and feelings. Hold the ball in your hands and extend your arms in front of you. Do this for a minute. What thoughts and feelings arise as you are doing this activity? Maybe you are saying, “This is stupid” or “I can’t do this for a minute because it will cause pain” or “This will make me….” When one minute arrives take the ball and drop it into your lap. Next, stretch out your legs and arms.
What did you learn? Placing the ball in your lap was it less distracting? Less tiring? Less painful? Gives you a sense of freedom?
Placing the ball in our lap allows we to respond to our thoughts and feelings in a kind way which is the polar opposite of grappling with them. We open our minds and hearts to make a space for our thoughts and feelings; we let them stay and go in their time frame. The research assures us when we respond to thoughts and feelings in this way: symptoms are reduced, anxiety levels fall, stress levels lower, depression symptoms drop, and even physical pain decreases.
I am learning to befriend my thoughts and feelings rather than going to battle with them. When distracting thoughts enter my mind I take time to be curious about them. When I am anxious or sad and it is pulling me down I practice this statement, “This feeling or thought is temporary and it will leave when it is ready. For now, I will just sit with it.”
Our difficult thoughts and feelings often contain useful information. They can alert us to a problem, we can get feedback about our lives, and recognize when things are not working for us. Dropping the struggles will help us accept our current circumstances and give us the resolve to Recover.
Some of the information contained in this blog comes from a book titled, “The Happiness Trap” by Russ Harris.”
Peace
Larry
email: ljw@superhumanbeing.net
website: https://superhumanbeing.net/