I hope that wherever you are, you know Recovery is with you.
How do we make our way through the healing process? In Recovery, there are no dead ends. Recovery can use every experience to help us grow and draw us toward the Peaceful Life. There is a way to grow more naturally when we understand the common causes of our struggles and the dead ends we may face.
Bill Plotkin, through his work at the Animas Institute in Durango, Colorado, takes people on long journeys and vision quests in nature. His work offers a meaningful path from what he calls an “ego-centric” worldview to a more “soul-centric” worldview. Sadly, much of our world remains focused on the ego-centered first stage of life.
He uses the example of Japan after World War II to show how people can move from one identity into a new way of living. Many returning soldiers were not ready to return to everyday family and community life. During their formative years, their identity had been that of a “loyal soldier” serving their country. They needed to expand their identity so they could once again become useful members of their families and communities.
This led some Japanese communities to create a ritual of closure. A soldier would be publicly thanked and praised for their service. Afterward, an elder would stand and declare with authority:
“The war is now over!”
The community helped the soldier let go of the identity that had served them during the war. This process is sometimes called “discharging your loyal soldier.”
This kind of closure is needed for many of us as we move through major transitions in Recovery. When we connect with peers, we grow and expand our character. The Japanese understood the importance of clear closure, transition, and direction for the future.
I have received the grace and blessings of many people in my Recovery Circle. A therapist once said to me, “The war is over.” For me, those words meant that the abuse and emotional neglect had ended. I had survived.
From that point forward, our work focused on emotional healing and connecting with healthy activities. This included building relationships with peers in Recovery, family, and friends.
The loyal voice within us helps us move safely through the first half of healing. It teaches us to look both ways before crossing the road. It teaches us to develop enough impulse control to avoid addictions and harmful emotional reactions. It teaches us to set boundaries and say “no” when needed.
These lessons give us healing, safety, direction, meaning, and purpose. They help us connect and grow within our peer support networks, families, friendships, and communities.
As we move forward, we may discover that the loyal soldier who helped us survive no longer needs to lead our lives. We can honor what this part of us has done while allowing Recovery to guide us into something new.
Perhaps the next step is not to fight harder, but to rest in the peace God is offering us.
The war is over. Now, we are learning how to live.
Remember, Recovery is happening right now, in this moment.