I hope wherever you are, you know Recovery is with you right where you are.
How do we build the first half of life? We build it through impulse control, traditions, family, community, respect for authority, civil and church laws, and a sense of goodness.
When we struggle with mental health, substance misuse, or trauma and are not practicing Recovery, we may lack a solid place to stand. We may have a weak sense of who we are, or we may build an identity that is too large to carry. This can tell us that we have not yet built the foundation of our Recovery. Without that foundation, it can be difficult to enter the second half of our journey.
Too often, we try to build the foundation of our Recovery all by ourselves. When we have no guiding principles or sense of right and wrong, we may practice a “pick and choose” kind of Recovery, especially when life becomes stressful. Recovery becomes more stable when we follow a path that has already been laid out for us. We cannot build a beautiful future in our minds without first building the foundation that will support it.
We cannot always start from zero and do everything on our own. We have only one life to live. There are many mistakes we do not need to make, and there are some mistakes we may need to make so we can learn and grow.
We are part of a Recovery community and a spiritual ecosystem that can help keep us from the darkness. More importantly, it can teach us how to fall and how to learn from our falls.
When my last significant episode of depression surfaced, I realized I had stopped practicing my Recovery plan. I recognized this right away. Because of what I had learned from previous episodes, I had built a stronger foundation. This time, my fall was rather dramatic, and slowly I was able to find my footing
In earlier episodes, I did not have that foundation. I struggled to help myself, and the depression caused a major disruption in my life. My relationships suffered. I isolated myself. I went through the motions in therapy, and I turned to food for comfort. I learned from my psychiatrist that each time I have an episode and as I age, it takes longer to rebound from my conditions.
But there was beauty in those difficult experiences. I learned from them. What I learned became part of my Recovery foundation. Today, I can draw from those lessons as I continue my healing journey.
Falling is part of Recovery. We learn how to recover from falling by allowing ourselves to fall and then finding our way back.
When we fall, we learn what balance feels like. We begin to recognize when we are becoming unsteady. We learn to listen to ourselves and reach out for help.
We do not find balance by judging ourselves for falling. We find balance by nurturing ourselves with compassion, love, kindness, and grace.
Perhaps falling is not the end of our Recovery. Perhaps it is one of the ways God teaches us how to stand again.
Remember, Recovery is happening right now, in this moment.