Self-compassion according to Russ Harris is, “Acknowledge your pain; Respond with kindness.”
If a friend or relative were in emotional pain and you did things to support them, would that be weak or stupid? Your obvious response is “no.” So neither is it weak or stupid to treat yourself that way (even if your mind says it is.
Self-compassion helps us deal with the happenings in our lives, deal with stress better, protect us from sadness and anxiety, and set the stage to handle Recovery after bumps in the road of life. Self-compassion gives us more energy, so we can leap to face our challenges and move toward taking care of ourselves.
Self-compassion is about taking care of ourselves. Have you ever been on a plane? You are familiar with what the crew will tell you; put your mask on before helping anyone else (despite your ten-year-old sitting next to you) This is a good example of self-compassion and it is not “selfish.”
Let’s say you have two coaches. One coach is harsh and critical with his feedback to his players. The other coach is kind, gives supportive feedback, and acknowledges what players do right as well as what they do wrong. There is a lot of research on this topic, and the outcomes; harsh and critical feedback may get positive results in the short run but in the big picture it leads to demotivated players and unskilled performances. Those players receiving kind, supportive feedback, and instruction to help them grow athletically are more effective in the long run; players are motivated and perform better.
Have you ever had a coach/teacher/manager/parent/boss who used the harsh, critical method on you?
If so, how did you find it?
How can you practice self-compassion in your life?
Peace
Larry
Concepts for this article taken from, “The Happiness Trap” by Russ Harris
email: ljw@superhumanbeing.net
website: https://superhumanbeing.net/